Felt sad and lousy. Choosing of polo side.
I have been thinking a lot thiese 2 days.
Thinking about nothing else but my academic studies and commitments.
I couldn't believe I'd fail both modules. I really know how lousy that is. I just can't say anything much about it. I was feeling down right after getting the results. Borderline fails. Can't change anything now can I ? Apart from studying properly and memorising the right stuff. And I still have SYFC to study for. Certain of my classmate's remarks made me think and affected me a little. Made me re-think of my commitments too. I want to do better. I think the new people I've met sees me as a dumb joker. I can revert back to my usual self like when I was in secondary school before. What am I saying that for. These few posts, I have been very frank with my words.
And I've still got canoe polo to train hard for. Apparently seniors are dead serious about us training hard and winning. I'm not that dumb. It's an indescribable thing. I still haven gotten the degree of seriousness of it. I am attempting to be serious now. I don't want to be disappointed and put down by anyone there.
Told Gao Xiang my problem on water. He told me to increase my bench press weight to 30kg on each side. ?! I can't do that weight yet lar. Zz. Lol..
Yesterday's training was hell tough. Although we have gone through training with a 400 push up punishment before, yesterday's 200 push ups was quite murdering. Don't know why. But my endurance was better. Everyone was sweating like hell. Am aching badly on my biceps and chest.
Gary told us to go for sprint training to support Jun Ying. Well it isn't that I don't want to support but I don't see the point in going there. Boats won't be enough and I won't be seen as important there. I don't train for sprint. Zz. Was it a mistake I made from the start ? No attempts ? O well there were little attempts I made to learnt the K boat once. But really, I didn't have enough rest last night too so I just decided not to go. This ISN'T an excuse but Tarmidzie already said anyway that we've officially been given the choice to choose which side we want to go to. Of course I will play for polo. I want polos on Wednesdays and Fridays (alternate) and Sundays. I have a little problem with training timings and days. Sigh. Why do I always get myself involved ? Trying my best to reduce my other commitments to make way for studies and canoe trainings.
I'll be expecting myself to be flying for my sortie 1 next week. So I'm feeling a little relaxed to study for all the R/T calls and external aircraft checks.
Trying my best here.
Wah lao so much said about my studies and commitments. Sometimes I ask myself what is it that I look forward to daily. I'm beginning to feel different with my surroundings.
Farhan
