Name: [f]arhan
Age: 19
School: Singapore Polytechnic
MSN: devil_farted@msn.com

5/1 2007: Wei Jie Yan Ping Cheng Yi CK Chu Hui Jennifer Rou Fang Su Maw Atiqah Farah Ivan Shazwin

Poly mates: Jerome Winnie Jason Derrick Zacson Wai Leong Marcus Shazlin Lee Yen Candy Hian Theresa Wei Yang Tarmidzie

Other friends: Jocelyn Rozand Gilford Steffy Tresha Azlin Nicol Hamidah AKM

October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010

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(7:09 PM)

Oh damn..

It always happen like this. I always have a lot of things to say the days before but when I'm sitting in front of my computer like now, my mind would just lose whatever things it had saved earlier on. Stupid right!? Haha. Anyway, just like my title of this entry says, its about me being observant in all ways.

By now I think everyone surely must have heard of the song entitled 'Graduation' from Vitamin C. Yup. It's heard almost by every teen everywhere. People like it's rhythm and its nicely-fit lyrics. A few days back I was listening to my Ipod in shuffle mode. And coincidentally it played the Graduation song. Its naturally for me to press the 'Next' button on my Ipod to skip that song I 'disliked'. But at that time I strangely told myself to take time to listen to the song's lyrics and understand it too. Boy, did that really made me feel matured and serious for a moment. Seriously man, the lyrics can seriously be connected with reality. I really cannot imagine leaving my secondary school and advancing on to a higher institution. Where will I be fated to go? What would the feeling be like on the last day of my secondary school life? Would it really be a goodbye to all of my friends? These, frankly, are just simple questions. You need to sit down and think about this yourself. Just think of a scenario where you have to say goodbye to people whom you've known for 5 years. People whom you (might have probably) quarelled with. People who have went through the thick and thin with you together. Just thinking about all these makes me emotional already. I now ponder on this sentence in the song:"And if you've got something to say you'd better say it right now". It means that if you've got anything to do or to say to your friends, you'd better do it right now before its too late. For me, it means to forget about the bad things between us and to have fun together all the times. With this, I've decided to forget about the bad things I have with all the people around me. I should be doing things I want right now before its too late. I swear I shall always think before doing things. I'm going to treasure all the friends and fun I can have now.

Again it contradicts with my life again. How far will my 'fun' go? I'm a discipline exco. I've got to set limitations for myself. That suck. How am I going to enjoy fully now?? I'll let things go naturally but no bad blood with other people, Farhan.. Remember that..

I don't know. I really don't know man. Things in my life contradicts in all ways. The good and the bad always clashes in all ways. NCC training on Friday have told me something. It tells me that I'm pretty useless. Seriously man. I'm not supposed to say this. I know this is just going to lower down my confidence. But its quite of a fact. I've always loved to boost people's confidence in whatever they do. But the thing is I myself doens have the full confidence. I won't say much here but all I ever want to do is to be able to do something for NCC. I don't want to be a useless 2nd sergeant. I must think before I act. I must think before I take on important roles in any way.

Lastly, I notice that people give me respect. A lot of their respect. I really earn too much of people's respect and sympathy being the kind of person I am. People just respect me for the way I am too much. Thats good. But the problem is that I'm not born with the natural charisma(probably!). Really man. I've noticed that about me. Certain people do have their own ways of entertaining themselves. Sometimes I just get left alone with no one to talk to. Then I would see people interact with people they want to. 'Why don't you go and do the same thing then?' you might ask. Sigh, I don't know. I just don't know.

PS:If the tickets are not sold out... I' HEADING FOR THE BLACK EYED PEAS CONCERT ON TUESDAY!! I hope the cheap tickets are not sold out yet. If everything goes nicely then I'm going with my aunt. OoOOh~ I'm praying that I'm able to go man..


Farhan a.k.a. [f]4rt3d

Oh Gosh!!

The last day of this course was pretty nerve-wrecking for me. In fact everyone was nervous. There were people encouraging me saying that I was qualified enough for the 2nd Sergeant. That however did not ease me. I mean, how would anyone be so sure that something would be true just because you were told that. Haha.. There goes my crapping again.. The outcome was pretty good for me. I achieved what I wanted to achieve!!!!!! I got 2nd sergeant rank!! God! You wouldn't know how happy I was when I opened my envelope. I was so glad that everything was over. I'm not boasting or anything. I just do not know how to feel and to react. All that I can say is that I'm freakin' happy.

I feel really sorry for the rest of my platoonmates who got 3rd sergeant. I mean, soem were really supposed to be better than me I really have no idea how things turn out to be this way. I know that most of them are upset about it. All I can say is that do not treat yourself as useless after today. If you are better than any of the 2nd sergeants, prove it. Do it man. I know you people are the greatest platoonmates I've ever met.

Wun't go on for now. Too tired to type. Guess its a bye for now.

Tired..

Weary..

Smelly...

Yup. Those tree words are enough to describe the feeling I have throughout the day. Food was fed like I had never eaten for 10 years before. I'm so freakin' full. Today I took the Mutuals tests.
Results:
- Trainfire Mutual: 29/50
- IFC Mutual: 42/50

Funny right? I just want to say fuck to my trainfire mutual. That damn female CLT. If I hadn't done my teaching as a group I could have gotten better marks than that. Its damn pathetic man! Damn that woman. GrRRRr~ Anyway its just one day of test on Mutuals only. No big deal actually. Oh and not forgetting the disgusting GSK test. Very damn shit man. I must have got my basics mixed up. At leats though, there is no one who failed. THANK GOD FOR THAT.

AaAaAaAaAaAArRRrRrRrGgGgGgGgGgGgHhHhHhHhHhH~~~~~ Ipod Nano is released!!!! Fuck man!!!! So damn cool!!!! AaAArGgH~ I love it!! I want that for my birthday mama.....

PS: Photos below are Copyright images of Apple Company.

God...

I'm starting to hate myself man.. How come my mind is blank when it comes to NCC stuff.. I totally got no idea at all about this whole damn course thing.. Actually I do .. Just that I'm making it sound like I'm blur bout it.. Hahax.. WaAa~ First day today at the camp is quite tiring.. Saw some familiar and some even same face still! Lol.. Shit man... Tomorrow the tests starts.. I hope they are pretty lenient in giving marks. I want to pass as second sergeant man! I think I've been saying that too much too.. But maybe getting a 3rd Sergeant rank isn't that bad either.. Right now, I'm studying the notes that is in my computer. I've managed to transfer them to my personal book. I'm going to stop here. Just wish me luck. Thats all.

Yuppie...

Spec course coming right up this wednesday. I'm so freakin' worried about it. I musn't get 3rd sergeant man. I'll be sooo goddamn shrewd if I do not get 2nd sergeant. Whats so bad about getting 3rd sergeant you might ask? I dun think I'm someone who would get 3rd sergeant. Shit! Is that ego? *Damn* Whatever man. Coz I'm still vying deeply for the 2nd sergeant rank. Its gonna be 4 days of nervousness and concentration for me! Should I be a hypocryte during the course? NO WAY! I can't be doing that. Thats totally stupid and synthetic of me! I believe I don't need tactics but just behaving and doing things normally and cool would do me good. Please god, don't make my life difficult with the high ranks when I'm there! Oh and let me pass too!!!!!

Next, Exams.. Exams.. eEeXxXaAaMmMzZzZsSsS~ Shit!! Sooo fast?!?!??! It feels just like yesterday that I was in 2/7. Wait, I think I've said that umpteen times.. Hahax.. Anyway, After NCC course is over (Lemme pass PLZ), I will start soncentrating on my school work next. Gotta be focused on studies like I've said earlier on. Then hopefully after studying, I would get satisfying results. Please please please lemme pass well this time. I gotta pass my subjects and not fail it anymore. I've also got catch up with my class rank too. I used to be No. 13 but dropped to 29 man!! EwW~ Thats totally disgusting!

Today,  not so bad.. Just  finished talking to Wen Hsien online just now. Wow it feels like a decade that I've never tlaked to her. How I wish we were sitting together again in class.. Sigh.. Anyway, I've got another remedial tomorrow. I hope no NCC tomorrow coz I really desperately need a break before the pressure starts coming. So gonna stop here for now. Probably my next entry would be this weekend or if I'm lazy, next week then. Till next time!

PS: Oh PlEaSe PlEaSe PlEaSe PlEaSe lemme do well in all of the challenges coming towards me. I'm working as hard as I can right now to get better results! Oh and check out my class, 3/7's informal photo shoot! CoOl!


Farhan a.k.a. [f]4rt3d

yUp..

maNY Outings these 2 weeks.. Gues I'll only be spending my time talking bout them. On 17th August, went for class outing with Mrs Terrence. Quite a fun day. I kinda changed my mind bout 3/7 a little. I could see the fun in all of the poeple in my class. We all had loads of fun on that day. There were laughters and even Mrs Terrence herself was enthusiastic. Played a couple of activities. The day ended with lots of food left too. Hax.. I dunno where the excess food went to anyway.. Sigh.. After that, I went back home.. awaiting for the last week of term to end.

So the 1 week hols starts today!! Wait! Izzit really 1 week for me?? NO! I only have 2 days for myself! Why but the rest of the days are spent for my NCC stuff. Damnit. I'm nervous bout it too.. Anyway something good for me to shout out: TEACHER'S DAY IS OVER!!!! Thank god man.. I'm worked out by it that I believe my results were affected badly by it. *DAMN* Mom's not happy bout it. I promise I will do something bout it. Councillor outing was yesterday, 2nd September! It was whole load of fun. Didn't take much pictures cause we were all having fun our selves. The first thing I did upon arriving there was to play a short soccer game with the guys. Quite a fun and tiring one for me as I've not played soccer for a long time already. Went to the waters with Reuben after that. *DAMN* My OP pants kinda sucked as it freakin' loose man. I was like revealing half of my underwear already. Good thing it kinda stick to my skin and didn't reveal anything else. I didn't felt hungry at all! Thats weird. Food didn't bother me at all. Lemme see.. what else.. All I can say is that councillors RaWkZzzZ~

*DAMN* Tomorrow got school. Chemistry remedial with Mr Nor. Gotta focus on her lesson now. Exams are coming! Gotta keep my eyes on books and not on other things. Oh and by the way, Playstation 3 freakin' rawks man! Its gotta be the most coolest and powerful video game player the moment its released! I love it. OooPS~ I thought I just said I gotta keep my eyes on books.. `Yeesh~ I wish technology was a woman.. I'd marry her the moment I'm born man.. 


Farhan a.k.a. [f]4rt3d