Friday's A maths paper is the first paper that affected me badly. I had no mood at all after the paper. It was total crap. How could I have not managed to be able to solve the EASY questions there ?? Enough said. I've decided to clarify all of the things I'm unsure of. Trigonometry done. Still got Functions and Integration. After that I will spend the rest of the time on science.
I don't enjoy going to classes when there is no friends whom I can comfortably talk to. I feel like I'd like to wrap it up by the end of this year but it is definitely impossible with my mom around. Monday was actually the day I pretty much dread for as I knew as well as everyone else that that's the day we get our Prelims results. Thankfully though, even though with my improper revision strategy, I still managed not to get any 'F' for any subject. However, it is still a great disappointment.
It is the first time ever I feel pressurized about exams. I seriously feel the press and have been wanting someone to understand and talk to me about press I'm feeling right now. For that, I had the 'all of a sudden' feeling of getting a great and understand girlfriend. It is stupid. I mean I find quite hard to relate to guys most of the time coz they won't even bother most of the times. I guess that truly seperates the Men from the Women but erm yea.. Seriously, I want to feel more positive and be smiling. Many things goes on in my mind all the time. In truth, I am very upset over my performance in the Prelims. To be frank, I HATE peer pressure. I don't wish to engage in invisible competitions of examination marks but I can't help seeing other people better than me. I keep telling myself to go till the end. Just 2 more weeks and everything will be over. I have the strong feeling that I will revert back to normal after the major exams. I confess though that I am sick of examinations. Am sick. How I wish the education organisations here understands people of my category.
- Justin Timberlake - Futuresex/Lovesounds
- Fergie - The Dutchess
These are added to my music collection. Both albums are fantastic. Great music to start the party going and some real classic and jazzy (a little) songs to soothe after the adrenalised dance. Currently just can't stop hearing Christina Aguilera's 'Hurt'. Very emotional (But I'm not affected by it thankfully) and powerful-voiced song. She sings: "Would you tell me I was wrong Would you help me understand Are you looking down upon me? Are you proud of who I am?"
A change in timetable starting from tomorrow. Many many Maths and MT periods. I must have the strength to finish the last few metres of my N'Level stream course. Probably a month more. I need to indulge myself in the word 'relax'. I have yet to.
` [F]arhan
